SyFy Moron Update: Outer Space Astronauts Season Finale
My SyFy e-mail tells me that Outer Space Astronauts will have their “season finale” this Tuesday. What is that? Like 3 episodes? More likely, Syfy has come to their senses and are canceling the crappiest show ever to appear on TV (Heck, it made reality TV look good in comparison), but are too embarrassed to admit it.
So, remember not to tune in to Syfy on Tuesday, because you still might accidentally give yourself brain damage by catching a glimpse of this moronic production. (or wrestling–same difference).
The Funny Pages – Online
A long time ago, the most relevant source of news was the daily newspaper. It was the only place to fill you in on what happened yesterday.
However, as the Internet changed the way you got your news, dailies were relegated to local news. If you wanted more than a 30 second recap of last night’s city council meeting, you turned to your local Times or Herald.
However, now that the power of the World Wide Web has trickled down to the backyard level, even the daily rag is irrelevant by the time it comes out.
However, until recently, one thing kept the daily useful to many people: The Funny Pages (or page or half-page as many of them have become).
For the most part, there was no other way to get you dose of Garfield, Dilbert or Foxtrot. With all the rules and fees involved in syndication, getting comics on the Web lacked feasibility.
Of course, that was then, this is now. And now has several options for getting your daily laughs—customized to your taste—delivered to your e-mail or web browser without the 75-cent hassle of buying a print copy for a few comics that you might like.
Candorville by by Darrin Bell, available on Comics.com, combines political satire, current events and a cast of regular characters to create a unique view.
The first service I discovered is Comics.com and it opened up a new world of daily comics. With Comics.com, you can customize a home page to show you whatever comics you choose. You can also choose to have those comics, both regular strips as well as editorial cartoons, delivered to your e-mail. You can also set up an RSS feed for your chosen comics.
Eventually, I found a strong competitor to Comics.com that offered me the opportunity to expand my personal funny page to a whole new variety of comics. Gocomics.com offers a similar set up to Comics.com, although their e-mail and RSS services are not as robust. It is better to go through their site and flip through your favorites list.
The advantage to both of these sites is the wide variety of titles offered. Instead of a few “family-safe” or “edgy-but-still-safe” strips selected by an editor restricted by budget and the antediluvian attitudes of its key demographics, you get a chance to see up-and-coming stars in the comic strip world, strips that might one day find their way into the local daily’s funny page. If they still exist.
Garfield Minus Garfield by Paws Inc. takes a fresh look at the classic feline comic…by erasing the title character. This strip is available at gocomics.com
Christopher Huff is a self-confessed and unrepentant geek who as been living, writing and playing on the Grand Strand for several years. You can learn more about him and his writing at www.piratejournalism.com. Comments can be sent to chris@alternatives.sc
Imagine Dumber: SyFy’s Outer Space Astronauts — BLOCKED
I am not a parent.
I do not have kids coming into my house.
However, I am turning on the parental controls on my cable box to block SyFy’s new “Outer Space Astronauts.” I can find no other recourse.
I know that SyFy programming outside Friday night shows is…well…targeted at the mentally impaired (Wrestling? Ghost Hunter Academy? Scare Tactics? Imagine Greater, my ass!), but this…show…To be honest, it is so bad that I don’t even want the chance to accidently see it while I am flipping channels. If I accidentally hit SyFy during Ghost Hunters or even WWE, I’ll go, “Damn,” and turn channels. But, I don’t even want to come close to having waste of programing and development dollars entering my consciousness.
I just wish it would block the commercials, too.
Slinging Paint for Toys For Tots
This ain't your grampa's charity event! Charge over to Adventure Beach's Toys for Tot's Shoot Out on Saturday, Dec. 5
Charity Events.
Even for the most generous soul, the idea can be daunting. They all seem to blend into blandness. You shell out some big money for tickets; try to find a babysitter; go to a stuffy, crowded ballroom; spend most of your time gossiping; hope the food is better than last; drink too much at the open bar; make a fool of yourself on the dance floor and hope you can find your designated driver at the end of the night.
Admittedly, they are not all as bad as that, but what if it could be different?
What if you could go to a charity event that didn’t cost you an arm and a leg?
What if it was set outside for some high-energy excitement and exercise?
What if you had the chance to shoot at your wife, boyfriend, dad, boss, daughter, friend, coworker, or complete stranger, and not only do you not have to go to jail, but you get to make Christmas a little better for needy kids at the same time?
If that sparks your interest, then the Adventure Beach’s Third Annual Toys for Tots Paintball Shoot-out is the charity event for you.
Adventure Beach Paintball and Airsoft field is located on Highway 905, approximately 5 miles past the Highway 9/905 intersection. The 108-acre field offers a variety of settings for paintball play, including speedball courts, tire mazes, bunkers, forts, woods and even Tippmann Town, a urban setting.
On Dec. 5, Adventure Beach is inviting everyone to come down and experience this growing sport while helping gather toys for the North Myrtle Beach Fire Department’s Toys For Tots drive.
You don’t need to have a paintball marker. You won’t need a mask. You don’t need to pre-register. Just bring a new, unwrapped toy valued at $20, and let Kevin Shimwell, owner of Adventure Beach, take care of the rest.
“We will be providing rental equipment and protective masks for anyone who needs them,” Shimwell said. “We will provide the air, markers and masks, you just have to bring yourself and a $20 toy.”
Shimwell did note that attendees would have to purchase their own ammunition.
“Prices start at $12.50 for a bag of 500 paintballs,” Shimwell said. “Case prices are also available.”
The registration for the event begins at 8 a.m. on Saturday, Dec. 5. There is a mandatory safety meeting at 9:30. Games begin at 10 a.m.
“Last year, we had 150 players bringing in over $3,000 in toys,” Shimwell said. “It was a great game with a wide range of players and skill levels.”
The Toys For Tots event brings out players of all levels, from semi-pro teams to people who never played before.
“This is a great opportunity for people to try paintball,” Shimwell said. “You don’t have to have a marker. You don’t have to have a mask. We provide all that.”
Barbara Brittain, manager of Wolf Creek Gallery (one of this year’s sponsors) at Barefoot Landing, experienced her first paintball event at last year’s charity drive.
“I was only going to stay for a couple hours and try it out,” Brittain said. “I ended up spending the whole day. I didn’t know what I was doing or if I shot anyone, but I was having one of the best times in my life.”
Wolf Creek Galley is just one of the many local businesses that have donated prizes for the raffles or other services for the event.
“The list is still growing,” Shimwell said. “Starbucks of North Myrtle Beach is donating free coffee, Mason Tires has donated certificates for free auto lubes. Kroger’s has donated gift cards. It’s just great to see all this support coming from the community.”
Additional raffle tickets will be available for purchase during the event.
Shimwell said that food would be available during the event, with a portion of the proceeds also being donated to charity. 
New to this year’s charity event will be the Sunday Airsoft event.
“Airsoft is a new and growing sport, and we have seen a lot of growth with Airsoft players coming to Adventure Beach.” Shimwell said. “Airsoft is a lot like paintball. The primary difference is the equipment. Airsoft guns are designed to be 1:1 replicas of real firearms, but they shoot 6 mm plastic pellets instead the .68-cal paintballs. Other than that, the style of game play is the same.”
Just as with the Saturday paintball game, the donation of a $20 gets you in the event and qualifies you for the raffles. Unfortunately, rental equipment is not available for the Airsoft event.
For more information, go to www.abpaintball.com or call 843-222-9081.
Christopher Huff is a self-confessed and unrepentant geek who as been living, writing and playing on the Grand Strand for several years. You can learn more about him and his writing at www.piratejournalism.com. Comments can be sent to chris@alternatives.sc
About
“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and start slitting throats.”
– H.L. Mencken
Direct Email: Christopher@PirateJournalism.com
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