Pirate Journalism

Back when I was little, we could come down to Myrtle Beach singing a little parody of a commercial jingle.

“Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Myrtle Beach.” I can’t remember much more, but basically playing on Chevrolets’ patriotic jingle praising the things that were part of the American ideals we grew up with.

However, it would seem that “American” and “Myrtle Beach” don’t go to well together, particular with the rash of bigoted, fascist activities going on over at the Myrtle Beach City Building.

Over the last couple of months, Mayor Jim Rhodes has been spearheading an assault against tourism, bikers, and the May Bike Rallies that bring millions of dollars into the Grand Strand coffers that wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for freedom-loving Americans and their two-wheeling ways.

First, they started by increasing the city’s property tax to help pay for efforts to drive off millions of dollars of business for hotels, shops and restaurants. Then the council has continued the assault with a series of laws specifically aimed at infringing on the rights and freedoms of motorcycle riders and any businesses that do business with them.

It would seem that the Myrtle Beach Council has an eye toward turning back the clock to the “good ole days” where bigotry, stereotyping and picking on the longhaired weirdo freaks was the order of the day.

Let’s face it. These new anti-biker ordinances have one thing at their heart-Bigotry. Whether because “Hell’s Angels” was a scary movie, Eric Von Zipper was a bad guy in the “Beach Blanket Bingo” movies, or because motorcycles don’t leave enough room on the road for their SUVs, the entire effort to kill off the bike rallies really boils down to bigotry.

The only thing making these laws different from the laws that enforced “Whites Only” water fountains, dining rooms and toilets is that the new laws have politically correct language.

And if you think I am going to wimp out and say that racism has nothing to do with this, you are wrong. We all know that racial bigotry has a lot to do with what is going on in Myrtle Beach. However, just like I have said, the “good ole boys” have just got some fancier lawyer speak to keep them out of trouble.

Of course, racial discrimination isn’t enough for these new “good ole boys.” They miss the days of Joe McCarthy, too. Therefore, they are going to go after any business, within or without of their jurisdiction, that might support what they feel is un-Myrtle Beach. Just like Joe going after the people in Hollywood, Broadway, or anywhere else that didn’t agree with his version of America, the Myrtle Beach Council plans to go after anyone, anywhere that supports the bike rallies.

Calling these laws McCarthy-esque, however, is being nice. They are less like fascist fanatical anti-communists and more like something National Socialist from Europe would think up.

They have proposed laws that state their intention to go after any business-inside or outside of Myrtle Beach City Limits-that they have deemed a nuisance.

Sound kind of like how Hitler wanted to spread their view of Jews beyond Germany’s boarder back in the 40s. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the baby blue and white tanks laying siege to Little River, North Myrtle Beach and Murrells Inlet any day now.

Of course, if any Bikers still want to come to Myrtle Beach, they must properly identify themselves. Kind of like a yellow star on the lapel, Bikers within city limits, will be forced to where helmets, despite the prevailing South Carolina laws.

Riding without protection will be considered an “administrative infraction.”

What is an administrative infraction? Good question, and not many know, but the city will also set up a special administrative infraction board to deal with these “offenses.” Sounds like the same legal process as lynching or internment camps.

Private property and businesses also mean little to this new regime. The council has proposed ordinances to ban in “some private lots.” Furthermore, the council intends to further restrict the sales of alcohol within the city limits, cutting the hours of sale as well as barring the consumption and possession in (private?) parking lots.

The city will also require convenience stores to provide increased security during the rally times. What this means exactly-armed guards? Video cameras? Search dogs? -Is rather vague, but it will mean a bigger hole in everyone’s wallet.

Finally, when challenged by residents and business owners on a unilateral assault on freedom, capitalism, and the American way-one that would produce proud tears of joy from Nazis, Klansmen, and other intolerant dictators throughout history–Rhodes responded, “If you don’t like it, get out.”

Yeah, no bigotry or hate in that statement. These are obviously the words of a man who “supports all tourism” (2005). Indeed, the statement of a man with the best interest of his city and people in mind-More taxes; more laws (which will require more tax money to enforce); More bureaucracy (which will require more taxes and more laws to regulate); Less business; Less Jobs; Less Freedom.

And this was “America’s” favorite beach…

Defiantly American,

From the American Part of the Grand Strand.

(Originally Published in Alternatives NewsMagazine)