All is not wonderful in Tim Burton’s sequel to Alice in Wonderland
The clues were there all along.
Large or Small, Alice fails to impress in Tim Burton's Wonderland sequel.
When I first heard that Johnny Depp was playing the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland,” I was slightly interested.
But then little things started to bother me.
First was the March release date. A March release date for a big name movie usually means it tested badly and the studio didn’t think it could compete with the summer box-offices brutes.
Nevertheless, Watchmen rocked, even though the general movie-going audience didn’t get it, and it was a March release, so I was still giving it a chance.
Then I saw the animation. Particular, the Red Queen’s bulbous head. There was just no reason for it. It completely turned me off of the film.
Then I saw it, and I found that it was worse than I thought.
In case you don’t know, Alice (Mia Wasikowska) was a little girl when she went through the looking glass and fell into the first rabbit hole discovering the magical world of Wonderland. At age 19, she has forgotten her adventures and convinced herself it was only a dream. However, running away from a would be suitor, she loses herself into the magical realm, now turned dark and scary under the evil Red Queen’s (Helena Bonham Carter) rule.
Some vaguely exciting adventures occur. No, that’s a like. After some boring adventures, Alice must face her fears, fulfill the prophecy and deal with some rather creepy romantic overtones between her and the Hatter.
The writing was terrible; an insult to Mr. Carroll.
Depp was under used and did a Scottish accent to show when the Mad Hatter was being madder than usual.
Alice was cute, but uninspiring.
The animation struggled between silly and overdone.
The 3D was abysmal. I don’t know if there is a real difference between “Disney 3D” and the “Real 3D” other movies use, but the 3D work in “Alice” was pitiful. Gag attempts to “jump out” of the screen were stymied and terribly contrived. Two years ago, in “Beowulf” a spear almost took out my eye. You could see the notches on the brightly lit blade and felt like you had to duck. In “Alice,” we have returned to the dark ages. Everything was dark, smudgy and flat.
Dark. Smudgy. Flat.
I can’t think of any other three words that describe the movies effect on the audience. Enter into un-Wonderfulland at your own risk.
Movies to See: Duplicity
“Duplicity” is the movie equivalent of the little engine that could.
Not Even a Bad Imitation of Mr. and Mrs. Smith
That is if the little engine tried to be a whole bunch of different things but kept failing.
“Duplicity” tries to be “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” but is nowhere near as sexy or exciting.
“Duplicity” tries to be “Oceans 11″ but is nowhere near as inventive.
“Duplicity” tries to be “Wall Street” but is nowhere near as greedy.
“Duplicity” features Clive Owen and Julia Roberts as government agents turned corporate spies and would-be thieves. Read more »
Movies to See: Race to Witch Mountain
You come to expect some things in the world Hollywood remakes.
Old TV shows like “Charlie’s Angels,” “SWAT,” and “Dukes of Hazzard” play upon nostalgia. “Friday the 13th” and other horror remakes come from a perverse need to see if they can make those old campy horror movies scarier.
Nevertheless, nowhere did I see a remake of “Escape to Witch Mountain. Was there a nostalgic need for it? I don’t know. I remember the movies (There were at least a couple sequels) from when I was young. They would show up at night on ABC’s perennial Sunday standard “The Wonderful World of Disney.” What else do I remember? A couple of kids with magical powers being chased by police heading for some scary mountain in the desert. I think it might have been the same mountain, but most everything else has changed, or maybe only the actors and the special effects have changed.
This time, the kids (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig) are older, teenagers as opposed to the preteens I recall from the original, and they shanghai an ex-con-turned-cabbie (Dwayne Johnson) into helping them track down a science experiment that could stop a full scale invasion of Earth. Fortunately, there is a UFO convention in town (Las Vegas), and one of the leading experts on the theory of extraterrestrial life is in town, and she (Carla Gugino) is cute and willing to help them (and be Johnson’s romantic interest for the film). Trying to stop them is the Disney version of the Terminator along with a cadre of evil government agents (led by Ciarán Hinds).
The assassin is from the kid’s home planet’s military, which wants to force the invasion. The government agents, of course, want to capture and dissect the alien kids. Like I said, other than the faces and the FX, not much has changed. It is still just as exciting as you would remember a 70s Sunday Disney fill as being. Read more »
Movies to See: He’s Just Not That Into You
Ah, February. Time for some lame romantic comedies and other doldrums offerings from the movie industry. Or so we have come to expect.
However, this year’s lead romantic comedy manages to be good, if not quite original.
“He’s Just Not That Into You” has a blunt, if slightly awkward, title, that really only describes one of the several storylines in this look at relationships in the 21st century.
Okay, I admit my soft spot for romantic comedies and these “relationship” films. It reminds of movies like “St. Elmo’s Fire” and similar films I grew up with. This movie follows the same basic plots but with just enough innovation took keep it interesting.
The title plot goes to Gig (Ginnifer Goodwin), a young girl who can’t seem to figure out why guys don’t caller her back. Then she meets Alex (Justin Long), who gives her frank advice on the man’s point of view on dating.
The other plots involve a couple (Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck) that has been together for seven happy years until the idea of marriage comes between them; a young realtor (Kevin Connolly) who is in love with a yoga instructor (Scarlett Johansson) who toys with his affections, but is really interested in Ben (Bradley Cooper), who is married to his college sweetheart (Jennifer Connelly). Throw in to the mix is Drew Barrymore, executive producer, who plays one of the girls who has a lot of angst over the multi-media world of dating in the new millennium.
It is all been done before, plot-wise, and on the surface, you wouldn’t expect to be impressed. I know I didn’t, but this turned out to be surprisingly good. You really get involved in the characters’ lives and hope everything works out. Of course, nothing surprising happens. Nevertheless, even that doesn’t damper the feel well, date movie vibe you get watching it.
About the only surprise acting-wise is with Affleck. After a long string of bringing down movies with some placid performances that put off moviegoers, Affleck actually comes across as likable in this film. Maybe it is because of the minimal screen time or the fact that he was paired with Aniston, who just makes any scene better, but you’re almost surprised that it is Affleck in the role.
I would recommend this movie as a great date movie with Valentines Day coming, however I will warn you. If you are in one of these situations, you might just have to face facts and put your relationship to the test.
(Originally Published by the Myrtle Beach Herald)
About
“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and start slitting throats.”
– H.L. Mencken
Direct Email: Christopher@PirateJournalism.com
Christopher Huff | Create Your Badge
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